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Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Я слишком ленив для того, чтобы писать полноценные реки на понравившиеся тексты, но иногда очень хочется поделиться зашедшим фиком, да и самому запомнить, чтобы перечитать когда-нибудь. Поэтому просто цитаты с шапками.
Апд. Решил, что понравившиеся книжки тоже сюда буду кидать.

Отредактировано (2023-07-22 14:21:25)

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Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Название: the one where tony and stephen should really stop eye-fucking each other, hello, thanos is coming?!
by graveltotempo
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, past Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, not team Cap friendly
Words: 33 991
Summary:
The Universe is about to end. Thanos is the formidable foe Tony has been worrying about since the Battle of New York and he's finally coming. That's what Tony is worrying about.
Or should he be worrying about.

But then again who thought throwing him in space with his ex boyfriend was in any way a good idea?

▼Скрытый текст⬍

“Uh,” said Peter, alternating between staring in amazement at Thor, confusion at the walking Racoon arguing with Quill, wonderment at the Tree with a gameboy and Loki. He settled on Loki. “Are you not evil anymore?”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Depends on the moment.”

“So on a scale 1 to 10, with 10 being like super evil and helping Thanos, and 1 being like... cutting your brother’s hair off, where are you right now?”

Even Tony had stopped hugging Thor - and thank god for that! Stephen didn’t need to see all of his seducing of men - and was looking at Loki speculatively. He didn’t pull Peter away from him.

Loki cocked his head to the side, actually giving it some thought. “A three?”

Peter nodded and stuck out his hand. “Okay. Tell me if it gets over six.”

He waited for Loki to nod slowly and shake his hand before moving towards the tree with a pep in his step. The mage watched him leave for a second before turning to Tony. “I like him. I hope he survives.”

What a way to lift people’s spirits.

Отредактировано (2023-07-14 13:43:09)

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

О, кто-то тоже читает graveltotempo!
Этот диалог со шкалой от 1 до 10 много где встречается, его, кажется, кто-то на тумблере придумал и оттуда оно распространилось.

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

О, кто-то тоже читает graveltotempo!

Ага, я сейчас просто подряд по профилю иду и читаю-)

его, кажется, кто-то на тумблере придумал и оттуда оно распространилось.

Э, жалко, не люблю, когда автор чужие шутки вставляет в тексты.

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Вот тебе в качестве утешения фик про Питера и Локи без этой шутки https://archiveofourown.org/series/1682737

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Вот тебе в качестве утешения фик про Питера и Локи без этой шутки https://archiveofourown.org/series/1682737

Какая классная серия, спасибо!

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Seventh Horcrux by EmeraldAshes
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Category: Gen
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Canon Ships...But Weirder
Words: 98 866
Summary:
The presence of a foreign soul may have unexpected side effects on a growing child. I am Lord Volde...Harry Potter. I'm Harry Potter. In which Harry is insane, Hermione is a Dark Lady-in-training, Ginny is a minion, and Ron is confused.

▼Скрытый текст⬍

To be honest, I hadn’t planned on the whole Dark Lord thing. It just sort of happened.

I’d always wanted to be a professor, either of Defense Against the Dark Arts or just of the Dark Arts. The latter wasn’t exactly taught at Hogwarts, however, and Hogwarts was my first true home. My greatest desire was to return to it and live there. Forever.

With my original Horcruxes created and hidden away, I might have become as much a fixture of the school as poor, idiotic Binns. That dream was crushed by Dumbledore. His first official act as Headmaster was to deny me the position. After a very strenuous job interview, I might add. Offended and heartbroken, I cursed the DADA post and stormed out of the castle.

So there I was: depressed, unemployed, and increasingly intoxicated. I slumped across the Hog’s Head’s bar, accompanied by a few of my old Slytherin buddies. We were reminiscing, telling racist jokes, and complaining about all the Muggleborns stealing our jobs. At some point, we got onto the topic of the abysmal education provided by Hogwarts. Turning away a young, eager, intelligent — if slightly evil — job applicant showed a startling lack of foresight.

“Kids nowadays don’t know anything,” I slurred. “I bet the six of us could take out every one of the half-wits they’re graduating and show them exactly how much they suck at defending against the Dark Arts. Then they’d have to hire me.”

That’s the last thing I remember of that night.

A few days later, I woke up in an alley with a pounding headache. By the time I’d gotten home and downed a hangover potion, The Prophet had arrived. In my drunken haze, I’d killed six Ministry workers and declared myself the Dark Lord Voldemort (I never would have picked that name had I been sober).

Отредактировано (2023-07-14 13:39:52)

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Я не знаю, почему, но мне это сильно напомнило тот фик, где Волдеморту таки удалось устроитсья преподом. Он там тоже много возмущался, что нынешние дети ничего не знают (причём под видом ЗОТИ он преподавал что-то вроде высшей математики).

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

тот фик, где Волдеморту таки удалось устроитсья преподом. Он там тоже много возмущался, что нынешние дети ничего не знают (причём под видом ЗОТИ он преподавал что-то вроде высшей математики

О, да, помню этот фик. Он был многолетним долгостроем и я так и не собрался его дочитать, когда автор его все же закончил. Надо будет найти и перечитать с самого начала, я помню, что он был умный и забавный.

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

когда автор его все же закончил

Автор его закончил?!

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Автор его закончил?!

Мне казалось, что да, но может я его с каким-нибудь другим долгостроем перепутал.

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

The Future Unfolding by airas_story
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Words: 20 481
Summary:
Everything in Stephen's life is completely normal (if you count the Mystic Arts as normal, which he does). And then he gets a text.
Hey Stranger Danger, I know you’ve got this whole ‘protecting reality’ thing going on, and you kind of seem like the magic first, ask questions later sort of person. So if a blue alien ends up on your rooftop, don’t kill her. She’s one of the good guys.

▼Скрытый текст⬍

“You love my sarcasm,” Stephen countered. “At least three-quarters of your communication with the world consists of snark and sarcasm.”

That earned him a snort. “Okay, so maybe that’s true and you have a good point.” He paused for a second. “I do like that you can keep up,” he admitted. “It’s refreshing.”

“I always knew my biting sarcasm would serve me well someday,” Stephen said wryly.

“Bet you never imagined this.”

Well, that was definitely true. “For some reason it never crossed my mind that I might someday have the Tony Stark in my bed, and not even for sex but for the sheer purpose of cuddling.”

Tony looked up at him, gaze searching his face. “I like cuddling,” he said finally. “It’s completely underrated as a form of sharing affection. Sex can come later.”

Stephen felt his face soften. “I like cuddling with you,” he said gently.

“Good.” Tony settled again. “Because if we’re going to be a thing, then cuddling is going to be a thing, so you should get used to it.”

Stephen cleared his throat. “Are we?” he asked carefully. “Going to be a thing?” Not something temporary, but something that would last.

Tony didn’t answer immediately and Stephen imagined he could hear the way Stephen’s heart was pounding loudly in his chest. “I’d like that,” he said finally.

He let out a sigh of relief. “Well, that’s mutual.”

“Look at us,” Tony said, and Stephen could hear the grin in his voice. “Communicating like adults. I’ll have you know that’s marked improvement on my part.”

“Congratulations,” Stephen said dryly.

Tony flicked him again at the sarcasm, muttering something under his breath that Stephen couldn’t catch.

They fell into a comfortable silence, Tony’s breathing slowly evening out into sleep. Stephen’s heart, so infamously cold, was warm with affection.

And maybe something a little more than affection.

It was probably too soon to call this love.

Or maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t.

Отредактировано (2023-07-14 13:33:44)

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Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

In Times of Crisis by airas_story
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Words: 36 605
Summary:
Tony had seen some weird things in his time. The flying, potentially sentient cape that was accosting him on his way home was just the latest in the list. What else is Tony supposed to do but help?

▼Скрытый текст⬍

Peter pulled off his mask, handing it to Clara. “Here, you can talk to her if you want!”

“Spiderman!” Tony hissed. “You do not just take off your mask in front of strangers! What part of secret identity do you not understand?” Why, why was Peter so bad at this?

Peter opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Whoops? At least I didn’t tell her my name?”

“See that you don’t. Put the mask back on.”

Peter pouted. “They’ve already seen my face, though. And it’s easier to see the blueprint with my mask off!”

Tony closed his eyes. “Spiderling.”

“I want to help!” Peter said quickly. “This makes it easier to help!”

Tony sighed, and his gaze met Strange’s again. This time Strange’s eyes were practically radiating amusement as though he found Tony’s plight funny. Tony scowled at him. Clearly Strange had never had to deal with a vigilante teenager who couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. Tony blamed every single one of his gray hairs—of which there were an unfortunate amount—on him.

He sighed. “Alright. Now come here and look at this. What would you do first?”

Peter narrowed his eyes, examining the blue print. “Take out the power core?”

Tony pointed to a wire connected to the power core. “What’s this?”

“Uh… Oh.” Peter gave him a chagrined grin. “A failsafe. One that would probably make the device explode if we just removed the power core. We probably want to avoid that.”

“Probably,” Tony agreed. “Try again.”

“Can’t you just do it yourself? Do you—“ Clara started.

Tony shook his head. “Learning experience. Wong and Strange aren’t in pain—“ he glanced at Strange who was now looking slightly annoyed, but rolled his eyes to show that, no, he wasn’t in pain, “—and Spiderling here needs practice with this sort of thing.”

Clara didn’t look happy with the answer. Tony ignored her though to continue walking through the process with Peter. Once they had a plan of action Tony let Peter do the slow work of disassembling the device. If Peter was going to insist on coming along then Tony was going to make him learn.

It took careful work, but after almost thirty minutes, Peter removed the power core and the forcefield containing Wong and Strange disappeared.

Strange stumbled a little, barely catching himself.

“Thank the Vishanti,” Wong groaned immediately. “Never before have I been so glad to be able to move.”

Peter jumped to his feet, practically throwing himself into Strange and Wong’s space. “Hi! Is it true you do magic? Can I see some? Which one of you has the magic cloak that keeps abducting Mr. Carbonell? How does it work? Can I—“

“Spiderling,” Tony interrupted. “Breathe. Start over. Slowly.”

Peter immediately took in a deep breath. “Hi. Sorry. I’m Peter Parker—“

Tony closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. How? How was Peter this bad at this. “That’s not what I meant.”

Peter was silent for a second, then let out another quiet, “whoops.”

Отредактировано (2023-07-14 13:24:15)

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Tea with the Hatter (TGIF) by theorytale
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Relationship: Loki/Tony Stark
Additional Tags: Groundhog Day, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop
Words: 61 032
Summary:
It's seven a.m., Thursday fourteenth November, 2013.

It always is.

▼Скрытый текст⬍

"I believe," Loki enunciated, hands clasped primly in front of himself, "we may have gotten off on the wrong foot."

"You don't say." Tony eyeballed the distance between them and strolled a couple of steps closer. "And what foot is that, exactly?"

Loki made a show of looking down at the weapon in Tony's hand and giving a condescending smile. It was the sort of smile that said 'it's cute that you think that might hurt me'. It was a very familiar smile. Childhood, maybe? Tony barely remembered those years anymore, but he definitely recognized the feeling of being underestimated. And the knowledge that he was about to blow some smirking idiot out of the water.

"Mister Stark. Tony." Loki practically purred his name, gliding shark-like across the floor to actually drape an arm around his shoulders. "I find it... interesting that in all the Realms, you and I alone remain aware of this little... snag. In the course of time."

Tony stopped staring down at the hand on his shoulder and turned his head to scowl at Loki's face. "'Interesting', you find that interesting. You know what I would find interesting? Friday. A Friday would be deeply interesting to me, but unfortunately somebody around here broke time."

Loki looked briefly defensive and cranky, but his face quickly smoothed back into that patronizing smile. "Fortune may yet smile upon you, friend. It seems that you and I have been chosen to restore the natural--"

Bored, Tony jammed his spear-pistol into Loki's ribs and fired. Loki made a very short choking sound; his arm fell away from Tony's shoulders, then he collapsed to the floor.

Hmm. The dart hadn't gone all the way through; a couple of inches of polarized adamantium blade protruded from Loki's chest, little blue sparks crackling between the open barbs. Asgardian flesh was even denser than Tony had realized. That wasn't a big deal; there was still room to increase the initial force of the dart's launch. The basic principle seemed to work.

"That," he said darkly, nudging Loki's body with the toe of his shoe, "is for throwing a knife at me, you over-sensitive shitbag."

He paused for a moment, then decided that seemed like it would be satisfying, and kicked the body again much harder. "That's for breaking my neck." Kick. "And that's for breaking time, you stupid, selfish-- fucking ruined--"

His chest seized up and he was gasping despite himself. Breaking time. Loki. Loki broke time. All of this, the never-ending limbo, repeating over and over, definition of insanity, trapped in an endless haze of the same morning weather report for eternity and it was this guy's fault.

Отредактировано (2023-07-14 13:22:44)

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Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Ordinary Numbers by BootsnBlossoms, Kryptaria
Category: M/M
Fandoms: James Bond, Skyfall (2012)
Relationship: James Bond/Q
Words: 44 163
Summary:
More than anything, Mike Taylor wanted to be ordinary. Being a genius, he learned early in life, meant people expected too much. A career at the MI6 Help Desk seemed the perfect way to guarantee a lifetime of obscurity, until he got a very unusual tech support call.

▼Скрытый текст⬍

“Help Desk call centre, this is Taylor, operator 4191. This is not a secure line. How may I help you?”

“Bloody fucking thank god,” James Bond snapped in a furious whisper. “Bond, James, agent 007, and if you hang up on me, I swear to Christ that I’ll rip out your intestines if I don’t get my arse shot off. Where the hell’s Q Branch?”

“I’m... sorry, sir? There’s been a power glitch —”

Bond froze, hearing footsteps outside the office — if it could be properly termed an office. Damned shack was more like it, with paper-thin walls made that much worse by the fact that he’d removed one of the windows so he could climb in. The bitter wind was cutting right into his bones, because apparently someone hadn’t mentioned to Mongolia that September was still autumn, not the middle of fucking winter.

“Sir? Are you there?”

He hissed, and the man — boy, his mind supplied — obligingly shut the hell up.

A full minute passed before the footsteps returned, now going in the other direction. At least now he had the approximate rotation for the guards.

“All right,” he whispered. “You’re going to need to concentrate and help me out here. I’m in a room full of computers, I think, only they’re like none I’ve ever seen — no bloody monitors or keyboards for one. Which one’s most likely to control a bank of mobile missile platforms?”

There was a momentary pause. “Face the door, and while slowly looking from right to left, do a full circle, describing everything you see as clearly and succinctly as possible.”

Bond let out a relieved sigh, glad he hadn’t wound up with an idiot.

Отредактировано (2023-07-14 13:21:26)

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Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

The Devil You Know by SilchasRuin
Category: Gen
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Relationship: Harry Potter & Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Additional Tags: Slytherin Harry Potter, Horcrux Speaks To Harry, Sane Voldemort (Arguably), Humor
Words: 67 782
Summary:
All Harry Potter ever wanted was to finally be accepted as someone other than an incurably criminal boy. A fresh start in Slytherin - which, admittedly, does seem to have a worrying proportion of goons - seems to be just what he needs to make some lifelong friendships. And if that life happens to be an immortal one, all the better.

It's too bad that the high-pitched voice in his head has other ideas.

▼Скрытый текст⬍

Boy, a voice said, faint but insistent. Boy! Then, much louder: BOY!

"I'm up, I'm up, stop shouting!" Harry jolted upright, wincing as a fresh burst of pain exploded in his head. Clutching his forehead with one hand, he looked around the empty room in confusion. He could have sworn that he'd heard Uncle Vernon-

I most certainly am NOT, someone hissed, indignant and cold and sounding as if they were standing right behind him, whispering in his ear.

Harry froze. Hello? he thought tentatively.

Ah, the voice said, sounding satisfied. Good. You can hear me. This will make things much easier.

That settled it. He'd finally cracked, like the Dursleys had always said he would. They'd finally be justified in packing him off to a home, or an asylum, or just getting rid of him somewhere in London-

Stop your blathering and listen, boy, the voice snarled. It was unpleasantly high-pitched, almost on the edge of being grating.

Harry frowned. He knew he wasn't very strong. But there was no way he was just going to sit there and let some figment of his imagination talk back to him. My name isn't 'boy,' he thought.

What? He could almost picture a shadowy figure drawing back slightly, frowning. I do not care. You will-

My name, he thought, trying to convey the same sense of authority that his teachers had, is Harry Potter.

Silence. Harry began to hope that he'd driven the voice away. Maybe he had a concussion? He remembered falling down, and he seemed to be in a hospital room. Maybe once the headache went away, the voice would, too.

His hopes were dashed when the voice spoke again. You are Harry Potter, it said. It sounded more cautious, this time.

That's what I just said, he thought back. Great. It wasn't bad enough that he was stuck with a voice in his head. It just had to be a really dim voice, to boot.

Enough, the voice hissed unpleasantly. I will not be insulted by the likes of you. I WILL restore myself! Harry cried out as the stabbing throb of pain in his forehead intensified, steadily growing until it felt as if someone was driving a fist through his skull. All he could think of was the pain - it wouldn't stop, it wouldn't stop, it wouldn't-

And then it vanished, instantly. Harry slumped forward, the air escaping his lungs in a sigh of relief. Gingerly, he lowered his hand from his forehead. Still nothing. The pain was gone.

Boy. The voice was astonished, now. What did you do?

My name's not 'boy,' he repeated stubbornly. The voice ignored him, so Harry folded his arms and decided to ignore the voice back. He was quite happy to stare into space and enjoy the lack of pain for a few minutes.

The voice did not seem to be as patient as he was. With a distinct air of gritted teeth, it repeated its question. Harry Potter. What did you do?

He thought about it for a second. That was a good point, actually. What *had* he done? I dunno, he thought back, doing his best to convey a mental shrug.

You don't know? The voice's barely suppressed rage flared into incandescence. How can you not know?

The novelty of having someone else to talk to was rapidly wearing off. Well, I don't, Harry thought, starting to feel annoyed. You're rather rude, you know.

You impertinent brat, the voice hissed. Imagine that you, the most powerful wizard in the world, are trapped in a small, dark box for ten years. Unable to speak, to move, to even use any of your senses. And when you wake, you find yourself as a disembodied mind stuck inside an imbecilic child. Would you not feel inclined to be somewhat RUDE?

Отредактировано (2023-07-14 13:20:05)

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

If It Makes You Happy by Dwarfankylosaur
Fandom: Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Relationships: Harry Dresden/Johnny Marcone, Harry Dresden & Thomas Raith
Additional Tags: Humor, Romance
Words: 12 196
Summary: Marcone concocts a plan to make Harry happy--by making sure Thomas makes Harry happy--no matter how much it pains Marcone to do so.

▼Скрытый текст⬍

"You bought me flowers?" I said, in a high-pitched voice that might, just possibly, be described as a squeak. "Have you sustained a massive head wound you didn't bother to tell me about? Me Harry, remember? Your brother? Not susceptible to your freaky mind-control mojo? That crap may have worked with J-"

Fortunately, Thomas cut me off before I could finish a sentence I would really, truly regret. "No," he said, "I didn't buy them. You did. Or I assumed you did, how the hell should I know. They were on the doorstep, I figured you needed rose petals for a spell and called Flowers Express for a delivery. And if you want to talk about the household budget, let's talk about that half-gallon of ravens' tears you made me buy for you on E-Bay last week."

"Thomas, you idiot," I said, "they were probably for Mrs. Moderatz's birthday. Get them out of the water and back out by the front door before someone notices."

"Um, I don't think so," Thomas said, the "you moron" unspoken but clearly audible. He reached into the pile of rose stems and pulled out a card attached to a long plastic stick. On it, in the sort of large, emphatic block letters you'd use to communicate with the barely literate, were the words "FOR HARRY". There was no other message, and no indication of who'd sent them.

"Huh," I said.

"You didn't order them?" Thomas asked.

"No," I said.

"Huh," he said.

Thomas' brows knit together. It made him look brooding and darkly mysterious, which was no mean feat for a guy dressed like the bass player from Whitesnake. Then his expression cleared, and he went back to just looking vaguely stoned. "It probably is Mrs. Moderatz," he said. "She thinks we're together. And she thinks we're fighting."

"What, just because I threw all your crap into the courtyard last week?" I asked. "Couldn't have been. Maybe it was the constant stream of barely-clothed aerobics instructors rotating through the apartment any time I leave for five minutes."

Thomas winced. "She may have said something to me about not being a very good boyfriend."

"No." I said. "Really?"

He glared at me again. I wondered if his eyebrows could get stuck that way. "She likes you. And she likes to poke her nose into other people's business. She was probably giving me a hint to treat you right."

I wasn't sure I bought that. Mrs. Moderatz was the type to go for long lectures punctuated by banging her cane on the floor, not for gentle manipulation. Then I looked back at the note, and the stark, unambiguous text that looked like someone was writing instructions for a not-especially-bright toddler. Suddenly, it seemed a lot more plausible.

"So my elderly neighbor is trying to play yenta for me and my vampire half-brother," I said.

Thomas frowned at the roses. "Is this normal for adult humans?" he asked. "I can't tell. This stuff never happened on Friends."

Отредактировано (2023-07-14 13:18:44)

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

an itch you can't scratch by jilliancares
Category: M/M
Fandoms: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Relationship: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Words:8 463
Summary:
5 times Wade bumps into Peter Parker + 1 time he realizes Peter Parker is Spider-Man.

▼Скрытый текст⬍

“What?” the cutie says, sounding and looking shocked. Up close, Wade finally gets a better look at him. He’s got messy brown hair, like he’s constantly running his fingers through it. Thin-framed glasses — not like currently in style thin frames, but so old that they’re now back in style thin frames — and pretty brown eyes. He has a freckle just above his lip, which catches Wade’s attention for half a second. Wade is distracted from it when the guy frowns, though.

“That wide, doe-eyed look you gave me,” Wade explains. “It reminds me of the olden days. When people were scared of me before I started threatening them.”

“Oh,” the dude says. Blinks. “I thought — well.” He clears his throat. “I didn’t mean to, uh, look at you like that.”

Wade shrugs. “No biggie. I’m still pretty used to it.”

“I’m not scared of you,” he clarifies.

“Uh-huh.”

“Really,” he insists. “I was just surprised. I didn’t think Deadpool rode the subway.”

“Well, it can’t be rooftop parkour and Spidey swinging me around the city 24/7, now can it?”

The dude frowns. “Spider-Man swings you around?” he says, sounding skeptical. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that.”

Wade scoffs. “This is probably the first time you’ve ever seen me in person,” he points out. “So I don’t think you’d be the best judge of what me and Spidey get up to when you’re not around.”

Technically, Webs doesn’t necessarily swing Wade around. But he’s caught Wade with his webs before as he was falling, and there have been a number of times when they’ve been fighting some baddies together, and Webs had swung Wade from one end of a street to another from some vantage point high above. And he’s pulled Wade up to rooftops before, either spotting Wade on the street below or finally listening to Wade’s pleading as he scaled the side of a skyscraper. So.

“I guess that’s true,” Doe Eyes says, and Wade nods sharply.

“What’s your name, anyway?” Wade says. “There’s only so long a reader can put up with monikers and epithets before it starts to annoy them.”

He hesitates. “Andrew,” he finally says. Ugh, thanks for nothing.

Wade narrows his eyes. “All right. You can call me Hector.”

Totally-not-Andrew stares at Wade, confused. “Um,” he says. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows your name is Wade.”

“Sorry, I thought we were exchanging fake names,” Wade says.

Not-Andrew gapes. Flushes. “I wasn’t— that’s not—” He grows steadily pinker, and then just presses his lips together, apparently deciding it’s better to shut up than stutter his way through a flimsy excuse.

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Они не люди. Книга первая
Автор: Виктор Фламмер

жанр: Городское фэнтези, альтернативная история, фантастический детектив

▼Скрытый текст⬍

— Кузя, а сделай мне какао? Ты всем хвастался, что умеешь.

— Ага, сейчас.

На кухне загорелся свет. Раздались булькающие звуки, а за ними — глухой удар. И тут же Аверин услышал, как Кузя что-то лакает.

— Кузя! Люди не облизывают пол! Возьми тряпку.

Звук прекратился. И через секунду раздался голос Кузи:

— Так я это, в кошачьей форме! Ну молоко же!

— Всё равно. Сделай лучше какао и себе. И зефир принеси.

— Ага.

Аверин понимал, что дальше оттягивать разговор с Кузей нельзя. Див вел себя как ни в чем не бывало, но тоже старался избегать главной темы. О драке знал уже почти весь город, начиная с князя Булгакова и заканчивая Анастасией, к которой, как оказалось, Кузя наведывался регулярно. Но о самом главном он не упоминал. А Аверин почему-то всё не мог собраться спросить.

— Может, свет включить? — Кузя появился с двумя кружками и пачкой зефира подмышкой.

— Не нужно. У меня глаза устали. Того, что падает из кухни — достаточно. Садись, — Аверин указал на место за столом напротив.

— Ага.

Кузя подвинул стул, и колдуну показалось, что глаза дива странно сверкнули.

— Кузя, — решился Аверин, — мне нужно с тобой поговорить.

— Ага, — сказал Кузя, и его лицо, освещенное падающим из кухни светом, вдруг стало серьезным и совершенно взрослым, — мне тоже.

— Хорошо. Тогда давай не будем ходить вокруг да около. Скажи, почему ты меня не сожрал?

Глаза Кузи снова сверкнули, и зрачки стали вертикальными. Он оскалил зубы, обнажив внезапно отросшие клыки, и произнес гортанным, низким голосом:

— А что мешает мне это сделать сейчас?!

— Ошейник, высший приоритет. Ну и немного моя левая, вполне дееспособная рука.

На лицо Кузи вернулось нормальное выражение, он запрокинул голову и рассмеялся.

И Аверин вдруг почувствовал легкость. Как будто напряжение, что было между ними, рассеялось.

— Расскажи мне, я очень хочу понять, — попросил он.

Кузя перестал смеяться и задумался.

— Потому же, почему Анастасия не сожрала Алешу. Она этого очень не хотела. И я не хотел.

— Ты сравниваешь несравнимые вещи. Анастасия — фамильяр с огромным стажем. И в момент аварии она была далеко. А с тобой я работаю совсем недавно. И ты выпил мою кровь. Я в жизни не слышал, чтобы после этого див мог остановиться. Да, просто почуяв кровь, очень сильный и умный див еще может сдержаться из страха или каких-то других соображений. Но, попробовав кровь хозяина, див полностью теряет рассудок. Даже фамильяр высокого уровня.

— Да, Анастасия мне то же самое сказала. Мы много думали. И именно об этом я хотел поговорить.

— Так почему? И как?

Кузя вздохнул:

— Насчет почему — это же совсем просто. Вы обалденный.

— Да? Вот спасибо…

— Ага. Я такой яркой и веселой жизнью никогда не жил. Расследовать преступления, ловить отравителей и взбесившихся дивов… наши тренировки… А бой с демоном! Как важно действовать сообща! По одному он бы нас порвал. Но вместе — какой результат! Даже не верится! Всё так, как вы и говорили тогда Владимиру и его колдуну. А что бы было, если бы я вас сожрал? Ничего бы этого больше не было.

Не фанфик, а внезапно просто хорошая книга. Ну что ж, не делать же еще один безблог для книг.

Отредактировано (2023-07-22 19:46:35)

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

i babysat god and he stabbed me with a fork by surveycorpsjean
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Relationship: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Loki & Stephen Strange
Additional Tags: Fluff and Humor
Words: 11,395

▼Скрытый текст⬍

“Who cares if he isn’t the father!” Loki shouts. “Pick yourself up by your pigtails and be proud! Wear your battlescars and take the helm!”

Stephen leans into the room, “Are you watching the Jerry Springer show?”

“Why is there so much crying?” Loki gestures, “New flash, fathers are terrible, time to televise about it for an hour.”

“Glad to know that’s universal across multiple realms,” Stephen says.

Loki avoids the hole that opens in his chest. “Yes, well. You could call it personal experience.”

▼Скрытый текст⬍

“Stephen!” Tony shouts, flinging open the front door to the sanctum. “Loki is Twitter famous!”

Loki barely looks up from the book he’s reading, but he sees Stephen scramble over to the railing above the stairs.

“Did you drive here?!”

“Look at this!” Tony skips up the stairs, holding up his phone. “Half a million followers."

“What now?”

“Look,” Tony scrolls down the screen, hovering into Stephen’s space. “Earth food is just foliage seasoned with grated rocks.” He reads another: “Polo shirt & khakis. Leave it to a supreme to botch seduction #burnyourcloset." Stephen’s face goes utterly red, but Tony barrels on, “He’s a shitposter, Stephen. The god of mischief is a shitposter, and he’s living in your house.”

“He technically isn’t hurting anyone…” Stephen says slowly, trying to swallow away the red on his face. Another victory to Loki, ding ding ding, thank you.

“Besides starting fights on Twitter.” Tony takes his phone back, still scrolling. “Everyone is arguing over it being really him.”

“Perhaps I should livestream,” Loki blinks as innocently as he can manage.

“No!” Tony and Stephen shout together.

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Бабочки в жерновах by fandom Fantasy 2021 (Fantasy_Team), salmon_existentialist
Fandom: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Category: M/M
Relationship: Liǔ Qīnggē/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū
Words: 30 375
Summary: Огребя от шицзуня в очередной раз по морде кипящим чайником, Ло Бинхэ попросил у богов хорошего учителя. Мироздание в лице системы услышало главгероя, чо. А Шэнь Юаня, как всегда, не спросили, он величина страдательная.

▼Скрытый текст⬍

Ты почти засыпаешь, когда слышишь с улицы завывание.

— Кого это принесло? — сонно спрашивают тебя и кладут руку на талию. Ты зарываешься в подушку. Вой не утихает. Ты накидываешь верхнее одеяние и открываешь окна. И чуть не садишься там, где стоишь.

Под воротами твоего поместья выразительно воет Бинхэ, превратившийся из пухового лебеденка в рокового мужчину.

С двумя мечами.

— Учитель, учитель, я прошел Бесконечную Бездну! Половина, что писали про нее — враки! Учитель, я встретился с отцом! Учитель, более безответственной бездарности нет во всех трёх мирах! Вся моя родня какие-то упыри и моральные уроды без капли принципов! Учитель, я вернулся в Цанцюн Шань, но глава Юэ сказал, что мастер Шэнь в уединении на ближайшие пять лет, пока не перевоспитается, а вы уехали к демонам на рога! Учитель, пустите меня, пожалуйста, переночевать хоть в кладовку, я летел два дня и ужасно устал. Ой… Лю-шишу, а что вы здесь делаете?

Ты стоишь под светом полной Луны. У тебя очень, вот очень сложное лицо. Примерно как у вашего декана, когда вы пороли чушь на вэньяне. Как же ты понимаешь старика.

Отредактировано (2023-08-31 10:48:06)

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

О тропах, плагиате и счастливом конце by Anonymous
Fandom: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Relationship:Liǔ Qīnggē/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū
Words: 31,923

▼Скрытый текст⬍

Шэнь Цинцю вытянул шею и возмущенно заклекотал.

— Зачем вы так, учитель? — увещевал его Ло Бинхэ, отойдя, впрочем, на безопасное расстояние. — Это же ненадолго! На что вы злитесь?

Шэнь Цинцю мог бы привести целый список причин, и первым пунктом в этом списке было бы "Я попал в плагиат Лебединого, мать его растак, озера, причем в роли Одетты!", но клюв не очень способствовал артикуляции.

— Вам очень идет эта форма! — Ло Бинхэ зарумянился и разулыбался, точно влюбленная девица, только что не захихикал. — У учителя и раньше была белая кожа, длинная изящная шея, невероятная грация... Этот недостойный ученик любовался бы учителем вечность! Будьте хоть немного снисходительны!

Шэнь Цинцю дернул головой и попробовал вцепиться в неосторожно протянутую руку зубами. Увы, Ло Бинхэ всегда отличался быстрой реакцией, и откусить ему палец не вышло. Щелкнув клювом от сожаления, Шэнь Цинцю отлетел от бывшего ученика подальше.

— Это было жестоко, учитель! Но я уже понял, что за вашим прекрасным обликом прячется каменное сердце! — крикнул ему вслед Ло Бинхэ. Шэнь Цинцю демонстративно повернулся к нему спиной, спрятал голову под крыло, но голос доносился до него даже так. — Учитель, я обещаю, это лишь временная мера! Проклятие снимается очень легко, один поцелуй истинной любви все исправит. Поскольку никто не знает, что вы живы, а обычного лебедя целовать никто не станет, то учителю просто нужно полюбить меня! Я вас поцелую, вы превратитесь обратно в человека, и мы будем жить долго и счастливо.

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

Muggle Studies is Economics in Disguise by May_May_0_0
Rating:Mature
Category: M/M
Fandom:Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle
Words: 11,835

▼Скрытый текст⬍

At Malfoy manor, three fireplaces crackle merrily in the formal living room. Tom drops a book onto the great oak table at the center of the space with a satisfying thwack.

Abraxas hesitantly picks up the book, silk sleeves of his robes brushing the cover before grasping it between elegant fingers.

“Economics for the IB Diploma,” he reads out to the silent group of assembled gentlemen. “My Lord, what is this book? I do not recognize the author or the subject matter.”

On Tom’s face, Abraxas sees a truly terrifying expression of superiority. “This book is the key to improving the wizarding world. Forget blood politics, economics is how we can invest in our futures.”

Abraxas has concerns that his lord has succumbed to mania and the Malfoy lord has no interest in abandoning his philosophy of blood traitors and mudbloods. He has, however, earned a healthy fear of his lord’s cruciatus and in order to avoid pain, he decided to humor his leader.

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

The Way to a Man’s Heart by mosiva
Category: M/M
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Politician Tom Riddle, Timeline Mashup
Words: 23 751

▼Скрытый текст⬍

“Oh,” Ron said, bouncing up and down, “tell Harry what you told me, Mione.” He turned to Harry, grinning in anticipation. “He talked about you, Harry.”

“Right!” Hermione brightened up too. “So Draco is usually in my office to sort out meetings and so on. But now he thinks we’re colleagues, he comes in just as often to complain about you, Harry.”

“Really?” Harry said. “What does he say?”

Hermione leaned over the table. “Do you really pretend not to know him at work?”

Harry burst out laughing. “I’m so glad to have proof it bugs him.”

“So you do?” Ron asked.

“Sure do,” Harry said. “You’ve made my week, Hermione, this is the best news ever. Yeah, when I started I tried to work out what would annoy him the most, and I decided on pretending we were as good as strangers.”

“It is definitely bugging him,” Hermione told him. “I really think he wanted some kind of work-based rivalry, or to exchange witty insults, or something, and instead you’re swanning around cooking and calling him mini-boss? Is that right?”

“Excellent work,” Ron said, clapping Harry on the back. “He must be fuming.”

“This is my finest achievement,” Harry told him earnestly. “I’m never going to stop now I know how much he hates it. Well, maybe I’ll cut it out if he ever apologises to you, Hermione.”

Анон

Re: Цитаты из фиков и ориджей [и книг тоже][Фандомное][yes comments]

The Rigmarole Dance by cannibalinc
Category: M/M
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Additional Tags: Alternate Timelines, Post-First War with Voldemort, Humor, Oblivious Harry Potter
Words: 7 531

▼Скрытый текст⬍

“I think it’s cool you’re written in destiny,” Angelina says. “I mean how many people get to say they’re in a prophecy?”

“Trelawney has three death visions per Hogwarts student,” Ron says. “It’s not that special.”

“Exactly,” Harry says emphatically. “It’s not special at all. So I can ignore it.”

Harry is really good at ignoring obvious, large things that worry him.